My thanksgiving list

I'm so thankful for my sisters, and sisters-in-law, and brothers-in-law, and their strong presence in my lives.  I'm thankful for so many years with a good and supportive man that I am losing count of how many years we've actually been together (18 Thanksgivings).  I'm thankful for my 3 little peanuts, who are growing into such wonderful people of their own.  I love to be with them, they are teaching me so much, and they are huge sunshine-spreaders, both in our family and outside of it.  I'm thankful for my extended family, which is a bunch of fun and loving people who bring many blessings to my life and to the lives of my husband and children. I'm thankful for my nieces and nephews, who are so adorable and a constant reminder of what life is all about - learning, growing, and sharing with the next generation!

I'm thankful for my home, for my pets, for my hobbies and the ability to pursue them.  I'm thankful for friends - especially for those who have had the tenacity to keep up their friendships with me when I've not always been good at that!  I'm thankful that I live in the United States, I'm thankful for my education...and I'm thankful for all of the possibilities that still lie ahead!

Grief and the holidays

The loss of a loved one is generally a big, huge disaster, but never so much as during the holidays (and by that I mean any holiday - a birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the 1st Friday of the month, the 1st Wednesday of the month...).  Having spent roughly 15 years working my tail off to try to pull some meaning out of the holidays when faced with the huge gaping hole left by my Mom's passing, you'd think I'd be patient with the misery that is so apparent in my family this year with my Mother-in-law's passing (and last year, with my Dad's passing).  Sadly, patience is a virtue I'm still working to acquire...and also, it seems that my response to grief is to just work harder (hoping I'll work it all away).  I'd do anything to spare my family (and myself) the feeling of that gaping hole.  I can't bear the fact that my husband is losing himself in that hole this year.

SO.  Thanksgiving.  What a giant pain in the ass to overhear these conversations:  "Do you have to cook this year?  No, I don't, my mom always cooks" when there is not a bit of gratefulness in the tone of the asker OR the answerer, just the sense that they only want to get done with their obligation and move on.  Worse is when I'm not just feeling the tone of the conversation, but when I'm actually overhearing people complaining about their family obligations.  I wish I could record these people complaining about their parents and then I could magically appear at their homes in the weeks and months after their parents have passed away to replay these recordings.  So MEAN OF ME, but it's painful to listen to such a huge lack of gratitude and to watch people sharing their negativity, like it's acceptable to share those bad feelings.

Why is it that people feel it is better to share their complaints than their joys?  Could it be that our society is such a jealous and bitter one - that regular life is so fraught with misery that people feel it is more important to share their own misery than their own happiness?  NO!  It's NOT!  But I'm caught in that same trap.  I'm writing about my own jealousy and bitterness!  I'm jealous and bitter that these people have families to treasure and they aren't treasuring them...but I know I was guilty of being the same way.

I think Thanksgiving is a holiday that we must celebrate.  For at least one day a year, we should be thankful...and also happy to hear of the joys in other people's lives.  What a great idea to share our happinesses and joys rather than our banal and rather ridiculous complaints!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all.  I hope that you are enjoying the gift of your life, your family, the things that make you happy, the things you have learned and been given.

Oh the holiday season!

I really should have thought about having a baby right smack in the middle of the holiday season when I got unexpectedly pregnant 11 years ago!  I feel like I am thinking about/preparing for a very special girl's birthday and then WHOA!  I forgot Christmas is only 20 days away!  (And I do this every year...)

I'm hoping to turn over a new leaf this holiday season, and, as such, I have put in my calendar 2 recurring events: Holiday Hour and Crafting time!  How I am going to be able to fit in that time when I have failed for about 20 years straight is beyond me...but maybe in planning for it I'll get more done than if I hadn't.

With Holiday Hour, I'm hoping to accomplish some things which I either never accomplish, or basically throw together willy-nilly at the last minute (thinking about good gifts for people, putting together Bill's annual photo calendar and photo book, etc.)  The best part about that hour, in my opinion, is that it can take place anywhere - if I can't sit down with the photos and the computer, then I can plan and think while I'm sitting and waiting at a soccer practice, or even while walking on the treadmill.  We'll see how it goes - I'm trying it out tonight at Emma's practice.

I'm hoping to make room for crafting with Crafting Time...scheduled from 9-10pm.  That will mean I have to put down my paintbrush (I'm painting - or hoping to paint - the main level of my house and that can mean some late hours).  I'll have to not wait until 9pm to exercise, which is a good idea anyway as I can't fall asleep if I exercise late.  Mostly, I'll have to organize the kids for the next morning and get them to bed - a huge feat for the holiday week coming up but perhaps I can enlist my husband's help.

OOH...I can just picture it...my first holiday season ever when I am not constantly rushing, and then wishing I had done so much more when I'm left to clean up the detritus in early January!

Worst soccer mom ever

I was never a soccer player.  My soccer career ended practically right when it began, in 2nd grade when I cowered in fear while all the aggressive boys from good Italian families (we lived surrounded by Italians in Macomb County in those days) jockeyed for the ball and kicked at my skinny long shins.

I'm also the worst sports fan in the world.  I have no attention span for sports and absolutely cannot handle the emotional tumult involved.  They are winning!  They are losing!  What the hell is going on?  I have enough emotional tumult going on in my head everyday...I can't possibly make room for the emotional tumult of a game played by people I don't know.  As such, I have not developed a sports-watcher's eye or memory - how could I when I am blocking out all of the emotion?  I NEVER see any of the smaller things that happen within a game, I can't recall what happened a minute ago, a season ago, 3 years ago, etc.  I don't even WANT to.

Lastly, I am a spoiled rotten brat who craves her own exercise and her own life.  I wish this wasn't true - but I still have a hard time shelling out all of this money and spending all of this time watching my kids do cool things while I sit around and get fatter and more out of shape!  (Isn't that an almost unspeakably horrible thing for me to admit?)  However, I do my very best to put my love for my children and my desire for them to lead wonderfully fulfilling lives first.  I suck it up, and I drive and drive and drive and watch and watch and watch soccer, and swimming, and soon, basketball.  And when it becomes too much for me to bear I chastise myself for not being one of those wonderful people who manage to fit in their dreams and their lives and their fitness in with those/that of their children...and I try a little bit better to manage my time and fit my dreams and life and fitness in.

And so tonight, I am finally adding my daughters' soccer games to my calendar, 2 weeks after their indoor seasons started...and I'm looking at who they will be playing, and checking out the records, etc....which wouldn't be a big horrible deal except that I am supposed to be the MANAGER of the team!!!!!!  (Worst soccer mom ever.)

 P.S. - Good thing I am married to the best soccer dad ever.  But I feel so guilty.  How can he be so good at all of these mom things, AND have to be the breadwinner of the family, too?  The poor guy did NOT luck out when he got stuck with me.

Real Simple?

I'm a magazine deconstructionist.  I probably have no right to say that, as Literary Theory was my absolute least-favorite class in my entire college career. I barely know what deconstructionism is to this day, despite getting an A- or so in that class. (I could teach a college course on how to write great papers with little time and without having read the book.)  It seems like this is magazine deconstructionism though - I flip through magazines, ripping out all of the advertisements and the content that is either not pretty enough, not interesting enough, not well-written, or just plain distasteful to me on some level.  I'm left with a magazine that I WOULD read, if I ever had (or made) enough time to actually sit down and enjoy it.

I do occasionally get back to those improved magazines - and I enjoy them - but I also do have a stack that I am waiting to read.  I spend far more time deconstructing magazines than I actually do reading them.

Which brings me to the December 2010 issue of Real Simple.  The thing is in absolute tatters.  It was a HUGE issue - loaded with content initially...and now when I look at my copy, there is almost nothing left.  I think the premise of the magazine is something that would normally really, really appeal to me - simplification of our lives, reviewing loads of new products and styles and foods and bringing us down to a basic few that are destined to be perennial favorites - things we will use and not need to purge from our lives in a few days, weeks or months.  But WHOA was December's issue not like that.

100 Magical gifts under $50?  What a load of absolute crap!  I ran those pages out to the recycling almost as fast as I turned the page to them, they were so insulting to my minimalist tastes.  Even the profiles were obnoxious - "the Man about Town"?  Who has time for one of those?  That is so not living a real simple lifestyle - to have one of those in your house!  My Man about Town is lovingly watching my daughter negotiate her way around a rollerskating rink at a birthday party right now, and otherwise on the weekends, rushing off to our kids' sports games all weekend.  He barely makes enough time to get dressed in the morning, much less to collect useless and pretentious knickknacks.  I glanced at  "Stocking Stuffers"...soap on a string for $40?  Are you kidding me?  Recycle this whole page.  "Splurges" - a bedazzled bowl?  About a thousand teeny crevices for food or dust to crawl into for the fantastic price of $150?  Recycle this whole section.  "Life Lessons" - entitled "Good Read" - a few pages wasted/written by a woman who loved her parents for allowing her to bring books to dinner so they could all ignore her disordered relationship with food.  I'm sure they were fine parents, but if she is a gifted writer, do you think she could find a way to praise them without portraying them as people who were all too willing to ignore her (and her eating disorder) at meal time?  And what is that essay doing in this magazine?  Is it Real Simple to become accepting of our eating disorders?

But the worst, worst, WORST was the etiquette expert.  First she "weighs in" about holiday photo cards being obsolete - isn't everything already posted on social media?  I will be the first to admit that in my lonely moments (or bored moments - like all afternoon while I am waiting for people to get out of school and get to the car, or get out of practice, or waiting for a game to start) I like to read about my acquaintances' lives...and when I'm feeling lonely or proud I do like to post and hear from friends on facebook.  Hey, with many things on the schedule it is hard to find a good sized-block of time which corresponds with my friends' open good-sized blocks of time, and status updates let me keep up with their lives and allow them to keep up with mine.  However, I do not feel like living one's life on facebook is either appropriate or healthy...I'm hoping to reduce my bored and lonely time...not spend more time being that way!  Further more, just because social media is easy doesn't mean it is an appropriate way to send a good amount of holiday cheer.  I appreciate the time and effort it takes to include our family on the Christmas card lists...and I love receiving a little bit of that effort.  This "etiquette expert" may be so very pretentiously busy that she can't get her cards out until late January...but when I receive a card I am always appreciative of the effort that was put forth to send it (and to send it on time)!

That's not the part that made me want to toss the whole magazine, though.  Further on in this "etiquette expert's" column she chooses to answer a whiny question from someone who wants to try to find a way to make her mother stop filling her Christmas stocking with useless junk that the stocking recipient then summarily gives to goodwill or throws in the trash (sounds like this issue of Real Simple made that stocking...).  Out of all of the questions sent in, this unappreciative daughter's was the best?  If a woman can't figure out that 1) She is lucky to have a mother at all and 2) She is lucky to have a mother who loves her enough to put forth effort for her Christmas stocking then she is a lower creature than the chickens that live in my coop.

Real Simple?  Life made easier?  Here's my advice to both the writers and the readers of that magazine: recycle.  All of it.  Not just in general, but specifically.  Recycle this magazine, both in small ways (this issue) and larger.  Go back to what the magazine is supposed to be about, to the people you were originally trying to reach.  Life is not complicated.  People only complicate it when they aren't dealing with something more life-and-death.  I know I don't equate a " real simple" lifestyle as being one that involves glittery, fake trends, and shallow, self-involved individuals.

Young boy's favorite things...or, I think the home renovation was a success

I'm downloading pictures from my camera, including some pictures I forgot I had - a veritable load of pictures I let the Bear take of his favorite things.  Here is what I found:

I'm guessing he loves the new stove

As well as the new dishwasher

And the new faucet, which he can pull down

The new cabinets and countertop are a big hit

Half of a dog face

close up of some adorable old eyes

He appreciated his birthday cake

And the fact that his artwork was displayed on our mudroom refrigerator

Loves a castle handed down to us from my aunt/cousin

And a birthday present he was going to open later that evening.

If our home renovation was included in a gallery of shots with his birthday celebration and dogs...I think I'm not the only one liking it.  (Oh, but he doesn't like the new wood floor...it makes mom very happy even if it isn't cozy enough for him. I can't understand how 30 year old rancid carpet is cozier, but oh well.  I can't win everything.)

Have you been wondering about my chickens?

Chicken run...ready for the fall (chickens featured: Princess Snow White and Annabelle)

 I still adore my birds.  I'm crossing my fingers as I type this, but I've had some nice, relaxing months with my 5 remaining chickens...and though we had thought 6 birds would be the perfect number (and so started with 8 chicks, for any possible attrition)...5 is also wonderful.  It's a more manageable number, certainly.

Nice husband built a great outdoor pen for the chickens in later September, which we all really love.  It's great to have an outdoor spot for them to roam when I don't feel like watching them carefully and guarding against any marauding predators (though Hope takes care of that quite handily).  Alan Trammell is a huge wanderer, too...so even if I'm around the back yard I often lock them up just so that I don't have to go tromping through the woods to see where she has gone.

The pen is is situated on the west side of their coop, enclosed in chicken wire (top too), and it gives them space to walk under their coop as well.  Their coop is on the south wall of our garage, under some pine trees, so it is pretty protected from the elements.  You can see from the picture that needles from the pine tree have fallen on top of the chicken wire covering the top of the pen - so great as it's becoming like a little natural roof.  Between the location next to the garage, the pine trees overhead, and the natural roof, they can be in their outdoor pen even when it is raining and they don't get wet!

This fall I loaded a whole bunch of fallen chopped leaves into their pen and under their coop, in hopes of insulating it for the cold days of winter.  They ADORE the giant leaf pile and love scratching around and fluffing it up.  Occasionally if they have been out for awhile I might find a chicken all cozied up in a little nest she's tossed up for herself.  It's totally cute how curious the chickens are...and how just a little something new in their pen, or in their coop, has them cocking their heads and pushing each other out of the way to explore.

We're getting nearly an egg per chicken per day...possibly 5 eggs a day (sometimes they bury them and I don't always find them until a day or two later so it's hard to keep perfect track).  They generally have their own location for laying their eggs...and I even saw Princess Snow White lay an egg once (she lays them out in the open...the others like to go in the laying boxes Bill made for them).  I love having fresh eggs from my happy, happy, healthy chickens...it feels good to know the animals that are producing some part of my diet are so well cared for.

Even more than that, though...I just love the chickens.  LONG after their laying days are over, I'm sure I'll still love them, thank them for their compost-making abilities (chicken poop makes compost so much quicker than any other ingredient I've ever tried), and enjoy watching them be their cute little selves.

Quote of the day!

Some people follow their dreams...Others hunt them down and beat them mercilessly into submission.
-Neil Kendall 
 

I signed up to receive daily inspirational quotes from Runner's World, even though I am by no means a runner yet (or again).  They must occasionally hit the mark as I have so little patience for daily subscription (or even weekly, or monthly) emails that I usually delete them after about 3 days.

I love this one because it reminds me of my family - my Dad and especially his brother, my Uncle Bob (and the language sounds like my cousin).  I am by no means a merciless hunter of my dreams - yet - but I would like to be.  I love the imagery - the patience, the persistence, the strength of the hunter.  I could use a little of all three!

Who's recovering here?

My little bear had a successful adenoidectomy and myringotomy with insertion of ventilation tubes in the ears yesterday - I just love all those medical terms!  Anyway, after a very sore throat from the intubation tube yesterday/last night, the bear is recovering quite nicely.  He already can smell and hear better than he has in a long time - the adenoids were enlarged and blocking about 80% of his nasal passageways, and he had thick fluid in both ears which could not drain because of the blockage.  It seems to me like he is practically recovered today...but wait!  I planned for these two quiet and cozy days and I'm not ready for them to be done yet!

Loving the time change!

How awesome is "falling back"?  I've loved it for years, as it inevitably means either an extra hour of sleep OR the chance to stay up late and get more done (this year it meant both).  This year has been the best "falling back" ever, though!

We've had a pretty crazy few weeks - busier than I can remember ever being, probably.  First, we replaced our 30 year-old carpet on our entire upper level.  Trying to move out of 3 kids' bedrooms was a disaster!  I also took time that week to repaint those hastily-painted rooms.  Note to self: painting after dark, when you are afraid you will never be the same again after a breast cancer diagnosis, does not lead to a really great paint job!

 Next, Halloween put me through the ringer!  Family visits (love the Kays!), family fun (Crossroads Village and Huckleberry Railroad was so great, as was Halloween in GP Park and the Halloween Hoot), and three class parties on the same day (not just showing up for those, either- lots and lots of activities to bring to each) made that week fly by.

Last, 5th grade camp! - 3 days of fun with 200 5th and 6tth graders and their chaperones (though I was only responsible for about 20-40 really pretty well-behaved children)...3 days away makes a week fly by.  On top of all of this, we've had 3 sports converging over these past few weeks - outdoor soccer ended in a flurry while indoor soccer was beginning for both girls, and E began basketball as well.  So we've had three busy weeks plus at least one and as many as 3 sport-activities in a day during those weeks!

Needless to say, I've been flying.  It's fall cleanup time!  The temps have been dipping...the chickens' coop needed to be made ready for winter!  Last, I can't handle a giant mess, or no exercise, so to fit everything in I've had to sprout wings.  I'm used to moving pretty quickly these days.

Imagine how awesome it is for someone who has become used to squeezing things in with minutes to spare, to look at the clock, figure out how to fit everything in, and THEN realize that clock hasn't been changed and I HAVE AN EXTRA HOUR!!!!!!!!!!! Or, and this has probably been happening more - I'm looking at the light outside and realizing I have to do something (the sun is almost up!  Emma should be on the bus!  It's been dark for awhile, time to get in bed!), and then looking at a properly-set clock and realizing I have more time.  It's been happening for 2 days straight now! (SIGH of contentment to have that extra time...SIGH of realization that I'm going to have to change all those clocks soon AND I'm going to get used to the new light outside so these little time-mind-games are almost over.)